Don’t Label Me.

Don’t Label Me.

I think I can speak for most people in their late twenties and early thirties when I say there is a certain set of questions we get asked on a regular basis.  And by regular basis, I mean almost every freaking week.  Don’t get me wrong.  It’s nice when people take an interest in me and my life.  But, it’s a whole other ballgame when I feel like you are trying to put me in the box of “you should be here in your life by now”.  Seriously.   What are these questions?  I am so glad you asked…

1.     Are you seeing anyone?  You can’t tell me, if you’re single, you haven’t been asked this in the last few days.  In fact, I was asked this just yesterday by a STUDENT.  And if I say yes to whoever asks this, almost every time I get this look of “aw you poor thing” or “you must be so lonely”.  It is perfectly ok to be perfectly happy being single.  In fact, I experience the most growth during times of singleness.

2.     When do you plan on getting married?  Is it not ok to have a plan to not plan for this?  I am a big fan of taking life one step at a time.  I don’t feel a need to get married and start that page of my life yet.  There’s so much in the world I want to see and experience…So, I actively plan on not having a plan for this one.

3.     Do you not want kids?  Because not actively working towards marriage MUST mean I don’t want kids.  Right?  Wrong.  It just means I am not married yet.  Because to me, kids come after marriage.  End of story.  I don’t judge those who opted out of this pattern of thinking.  It’s just not for me. 

4.     Where do you see yourself in five years?  I will never forget the moment my mom asked me this as I drove her to the airport a couple of months ago.  While this isn’t a completely out of line question, it was the way she followed it up that threw me.  She told me I needed to think long term about where I want to end up.  If I want to be in Memphis, maybe I should date boys from Memphis and look for job in Memphis.  Honestly, the place I see myself in five years is wherever God calls me and puts me.  That’s it.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not “blasting” those who ask these kinds of questions.  I am simply saying, I don’t like this line of thought.  I am my own, unique, one-of-a-kind person.  I don’t follow any specific timelines or patterns.  I am not made to fit into a mold.  God created me as my own, unique being to go and do as He calls me.  This may mean I am a crazy dog lady when I am fifty.  Bring it on.  But, if He chooses to bless me with kids, a husband, and a settled-down lifestyle, I am all for that too.

Life is meant to be lived.  It is meant to be explored, taken in, breathed in.  You can’t do so if you are trying to fit into someone else’s mold or label.  You can’t be exactly like your best friend, mom, sister, coworker, WHOEVER.  You have so much potential in you.   Rather than trying to do things in a specific way by a specific time, how about you free yourself to just live.  Live life to the fullest.  Travel, cook, take lessons, introduce yourself to complete strangers you meet, tell your story, listen to other people’s stories, be free to be you.  It is in living this way that you will truly find yourself feeling freedom.  A fulfilled life doesn’t come in trying so hard to micromanage your life.  It comes in finding pure joy in living life with yourself.  Being content with your life…now that is the end goal I am striving for.