Lately I have been thinking a lot about time. How quickly it goes by, but also how slowly
it goes by. How cruel it can be, but
also how enriching and wonderful it can be too.
Time, I think it is safe to say, is a multi-dimensional paradox of a
thing. When you are young, you want time
to speed up, to get you to where you want and what you want. When you are older, you often find yourself
wishing it could rewind itself. And, even
in those middle years, you’re wishing for time to sloooooooow down. So, I have to ask…is there ever a point in our
lives where we find ourselves perfectly content with time and how it flows?
I hear my students say on a regular basis they wish they were
X age. They want to grow up so quickly,
it stuns me. It doesn’t matter how many
times I tell them to enjoy their teenage years.
To take advantage of every single moment and every bit of security they
may have. I get a few eye rolls, a few “can
you shut up now” looks. But, I mean
seriously. I wish I could still be a
kid. Not have to pay bills. Not have to clean my apartment. No going to work every single day. LAWD I would love that. Don’t get me wrong, I love being an adult,
but things are much simpler when you are a kid.
When I was little, I remember wanting to grow up
quickly. I wanted to date boys. I wanted to drive. I wanted to graduate high school. I wanted to finish college. I wanted to get married. I wanted the perfect job. I can’t remember a time where I was perfectly
content with where I was at any given moment.
There was always a “next thing” I was looking forward to. Even now, at twenty-seven, there’s things I
wish would hurry the heck up; and, there’s also things I wish I could go back
and experience again. There may even be
things I wish I could do differently.
But, even though I find myself thinking that way, I do know I feel much
more content with the place I find myself now.
I have learned there is no point to wishing time would speed
up. Some days will go by quickly, and
some will crawl by at a snail’s pace. I
cannot do anything to change this.
Instead, I have to learn how to live in the moment and love where I
am. I have learned to love the hard
parts of my life. When I have to scrub
my bathroom and am gagging while I clean the toilet bowl, I remind myself how
blessed I am to even have an apartment I have to clean. When I walk my sweet puppy and she is pulling
me so hard I feel my arm will pop out of socket, I tell myself how much I love coming
home to her and her goofy little face.
When I drag myself out of bed during the weekdays, I think back over how
many incredible young ladies I have had the privilege to teach over these last
two years. You get the point.
Sometimes, when we get frustrated with time, we simply need
to reframe our thinking and remind ourselves all of the good things that come
with patience and perseverance. Rather
than trying to rush things and rush time, sometimes it is best to truly soak it
all in and think over all of the wonderful things happening in this place and
in this time.
